Today is world toilet day. I haven’t used toilet paper for 9 months. Look, this isn’t as terrible as it sounds…
First, fill out a contract seven times. This is not a lucky number. It’s just fact. The first two you will fill out in the house of your uncle, but they will be wrong.
A short journey through the various beers I have loved recently.
I spent my first ever Christmas alone. Or did I? They may not celebrate Christmas in Taiwan, but I still had a blast.
Whenever I leave my house and walk down the dirt path to the road, there’s a bevy of small girl children who chase after me. “NataLEE! NataLEE!” they love to call out, as though the name itself has some magical power. One small girl in particular will throw her arms around my legs. “NataLEE, very […]
I ran into my maid this morning, as I was coming home from a whorehouse Christmas party that I’d gone to with the Junkie and the Student.
I met up with a pal today. He was shopping for a loo. “I’ve never shopped for a toilet before,” he said, as we looked at the options. “Me neither,” I said.
There’s this kid that comes around to my house every day asking for money. Malinis, he says. I’ll clean your dog poo. Forty. Forty. Malinis. I hate this kid.
There’s more to Angeles City than what most people see. It’s a shithole, sure, but I like that no matter how hard you scrub, this city will never be clean.
The random manicness of the Philippines has meant a change of pace. The only way to survive is to slow down.