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Stirring the Pot 0

Stirring the Pot

You’d have to have been hiding under your toilet to have missed the news out of the UK this week of a national government guideline on public toilets. Communities Minister Baroness Andrews unveiled the guidelines today, admitting that “some people may find the whole idea of a strategic guide on...

Beijing becomes city with world’s largest number of public toilets 0

Beijing becomes city with world’s largest number of public toilets

Beijing becomes city with world’s largest number of public toilets Of course, it’s not hard to beat New York in this pissing contest, as New York doesn’t have ANY public toilets!

One New Zealand dunny 0

One New Zealand dunny

They don’t make their toilets half bad down under. This gorgeous little cabin is somewhere on the South Island (I’ll have to dig out my notes to find out exactly where). It makes the long drops of my youth seem dingy by comparison. Of course, the long drops of my...

God is everywhere… even in the bog 0

God is everywhere… even in the bog

A godly father, sitting on a draughtTo do as need and nature hath us taught,Mumbled (as was his manner) certain prayers,And unto him the devil straight repairs,And bodly to revile him he begins,Alleging that such prayers were deadly sinsAnd that he shewed he was devoid of graceTo speak to God...

sun 1

3. Dear Sun

Dear Sun, In London you wore a deep burqa. For so long you hid yourself in voluminous veils that I barely knew you anymore. I missed you. I longed to see your face again and I grew pale. You tease. You showed me your legs in Bratislava which made me...

Dirty Bombs 0

Dirty Bombs

There’s nothing worse than walking into a toilet and finding pee on the seat. Or so I thought until Thursday.A friend walked into the toilets at her work and discovered not one, but two poo pellets on the seat.I have a number of questions about this. How do you manage...

travelling hobo signs 0

2. Dear Drunk Destitute Lady

Dear Drunk Destitute Lady, Today when you got down on your knees and looked under our table for cigarette butts, I looked down at my sandals, which I’d kicked off, to make sure you didn’t take them. I’m ashamed of that. What I really wanted to do was push the...

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1. Dear Soap

Dear Soap, If, when you squirt out green and squishy in my palm, you destroy all the bacteria in my entire body and then replace it with aloe vera and olive oil, can I really expect to be the same person I was before I bathed in the green waters...

Loo Users Lose Out 0

Loo Users Lose Out

This is just the sort of story I find so disappointing. Bloody vandals have forced the closure of toilets. Maybe it’s worth paying $US30,000 a year to have vandal-free spaceship toilets.

Spaceships, Toilets & Tycoons 0

Spaceships, Toilets & Tycoons

I was absolutely stoked to discover that there’s a Toilet Tycoon. Well, not quite. Louis Herrera is a self-proclaimed toilet expert. He is also the president of Public Facilities and Services, a company looking to sell amazing self cleaning, polite, music playing toilet contraptions at amazing prices to less than...